I just got called out on a message board for being insensitive to cancer when I said that there were a lot of great things about having cancer. The commenter had lost someone close to her to cancer and said my attitude made her want to vomit.
I don't know how to feel about this. I know that my attitude is pretty unconventional. At the same time, I feel like focusing on the good in a situation, especially one that could be as horrible as this one, is a positive thing to do. I guess I don't really see any benefit to taking my disease seriously, but I think there is a lot of benefit to seeing the lighter side of having cancer.
Also, what kind of person rips into someone for being optimistic about cancer? Really?
Edited to add: Apparently it was because I said that I would be sad if/when I was cured, because I wouldn't be able to use the cancer card anymore. I guess I can see how that would be offensive. Still, as a cancer patient, I maintain that I am allowed to joke about cancer as much as I want, and haters to the left. TO THE LEFT!
Don't take it personally, HM. I'm sure the person is just really fucked up due to well, having someone die and all. They just can't deal. You keep on.
ReplyDeleteWe actually ended up talking it out. On the internet of all places! Who would have thought?
ReplyDeleteThe fact that you can remain positive and have a sense of humour would only help you HM. Glad to hear you talked it out!
ReplyDeleteFuck her. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteI lost my Uncle in January to Kidney cancer. Knowing someone that was sick and lost the fight doesn't give you the right to judge anyone else's experience with this fucked up disease.
My Unc had a sense of humor about it too. Said it was the first time since college he was thin and that rocked etc. That's how he got through it. I think he HAD to have a sense of humor about it.
Like you said, haters to the left.
xo
You also lost your grandmother to cancer, who was a person very dear to you, so it's not like you don't have empathy or lack of insight into the pain of loss. So keep on kicking ass!!!
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely allowed to do or say whatever you want, because they're your experiences, and you have to do what gets you through. She was probably extra-sensitive because of her experiences.
ReplyDeletePS - I do miss getting my house cleaned guilt-free during chemo and after surgeries. The cancer card worked great for me!
How could you be so insensitive, HM? Do you have ANY IDEA how bad cancer is? Oh, wait...
ReplyDeleteGlad that it all got worked out, though. Anonymous internet bitch better not be messin' with my girl. I will take my earrings off and slap a bitch in the eye.
I had to leave message boards for fibromyalgia because I was trying to be positive and it seemed that most of the people just wanted to bitch about their doctors or medication and detail just how bad their pain was (always worse than anyone else!) rather than exchange support and information. The last straw was a response to my attempt to discuss the possibility of legalization of marijuana for pain patients and someone flamed me for encouraging "gang culture"
ReplyDeleteI think sometimes people will fire off an angry post on the internet with less thought than they would put in if the person was in fromt of them. It is good that it all worked out though.
Lauren
The cancer card is powerful, and its powers extend even to the metasphere: Meaning by definition, playing the cancer card is applicable to discussions of the cancer card itself!
ReplyDeleteobviously the girl can't take a joke
ReplyDeletei lost a friend to brain cancer two weeks ago. he loved the stories i told him from your blog!
ReplyDeleteThat makes me feel so much better, Lindsey. I felt really terrible after all of the drama. I certainly hadn't meant to make anyone feel bad. I just didn't want people to feel sorry for me or to have that awkward "Oh my god, that's terrible" moment. Knowing that some other people enjoy the blog makes me feel a lot better.
ReplyDeleteOh please! I loved using the cancer card.
ReplyDelete