Monday, March 15, 2010

OMG, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.

Two things:
1) Today, one of the button's on Dr. Derdel's collar was undone. I hope he's okay! It's so unlike him that I'm a little worried. I didn't want to mention it to him, though. That would have brought shame upon us all.

2) I had my second chemo infusion with The Toucher. At first, I was relieved because he didn't go in for the handshake. But, no, instead, he sat in front of me and PUT HIS HAND ON MY THIGH!! AND KEPT IT THERE FOR THE WHOLE APPOINTMENT. It's not like it was sexual or anything. There was a nurse in the room the whole time, and besides being a serious red-alert type breach of my personal space, there was nothing unsavory about it. Still, someone needs to pull this guy aside and tell him that this is not how we do things in the U.S.of A. If only Gretchen Weiner was round to be all, "Oh my god, Dr. [name withheld to protect the innocent], you can't just touch people on the thigh."

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Did you know that once you die, you can still use the internet? It's true, because I've had two experiences within the last week that have made it quite obvious that I'm in heaven.
1) I was roller skating (my favorite activity in the world) to indie music!
2) Law and Order (maybe my favorite show in the world) did an episode on juggalos!

It's like life has suddenly become custom tailored for my enjoyment!

(Or is that creepy for a cancer patient to say? Whatever, I said it.)

Onto the news -

As you know, I've started radiation, but still have not developed any (known) super powers. I'm really hoping for invisibility, the ability to vomit on people when they say stupid things, and/or to be like The Dazzler.

Radiation itself is pretty boring. I just lie on this table, and some techs figet with me until my body is positioned just so. Then they take some pictures (x-rays, I think) and then they come back out and put a cold spongey thing on my chest (so the radiation doesn't go too deep), and then this giant machine moves around me and radiates me. The whole process usually takes about 30 minutes from the time I get there until the time I leave, but some of that is getting dressed and waiting around. They easily have the best waiting room ever, though. There are cookies and sodas and fruit (on Mondays and Tuesdays) and graham crackers. Plus, they have the best cancer magazines. It's like the People or OK! of cancer, where the stories are kind of salaciously great. None of this "Sheryl Crow beat breast cancer and so can you!" No, these stories are like, "Have Better Sex with Cancer!" Awesome!

When I was lying on the machine today, with the sponge on my chest, I started thinking about how little I know about the radiation process. I know that it's meant to destroy the cells in my chest walls and lymph nodes. All of the cells are harmed, but only the healthy cells recover over time. And I know that the main side effects are burns on the skin and fatigue. But that's about the extent of my knowledge. It's just so technical that I'm not that interested.

Chemo, on the other hand, fascinated me. I knew how many of the chemos worked on a microbiological level. I loved reading about that stuff. I wonder if I am naturally more interested in biology than physics (very possible) or if I'm just suffering from information burnout.

My radiation oncologist, Dr. Derdel, is a fastidious dresser and groomer. He kind of looks like a mating of Anderson Cooper and David Bowie. For some reason, I find his appearance very comforting. I mean, if he's able to maintain his a hairstyle with an uncanny level of precision, imagine my how meticulous he must be about my treatment! He's also reached a mythical status in our home, with messes being greeted by "What would Dr. Derdel say about this?" or "You'd never see something like this in Dr. Derdel's home."

I also got my first Avastin infusion, but it was boring and there isn't much to say about it. Mostly it (and the radiation) have just made me overly tired. But there was no nausea or anything.

And on that note
-Dazzler out!