Friday, November 6, 2009

I have been hacking away at an update for like a week, and honestly, I've got nothing.  Part of it is that my mom said that if you don't have anything nice to say, you shouldn't say anything at all (actually, my mom never said that, but I've heard that it's the kind of things moms say), and this cycle has been a complete and utter bitch.  Another part of it is that they gave me a Neulasta shot which made my bones hurt which made me need vicodin which makes me way more interested in drooling than writing.  But, at any rate, I'm still around.  I'm tired and run down and nauseous and my bones hurt, but otherwise, I'm still the same snarky, irreverant cancer patient as always.

I did, however, want to discuss PICC lines a little bit.  If anyone ever suggests that you get a PICC line (like a port, but for your arm), punch them in the face.  Twice.   Because they will shove a plastic tube up your arm veins while you are completely awake, and that's not okay.  I felt violated and had to call a Take Back Our Veins hotline afterwards.  It's pretty amazing that I didn't become a militant lesbian after the experience.  (That being said, I do have perfect militant lesbian hair, right now, and I'm kind of sad it's being wasted on me.)

Also, I only have one more chemo left.  FUCK! YEAH!  (Sorry, Grandpa)  I went through this period where I was sad that chemo was ending.  It's like I felt like I hadn't been appreciating my chemo experience enough or being "present" through it.  Then I realize that's what normal people call coping, and stopping to smell the chemo roses is what crazy people do.  And while I'm crazy, it's only like a fox.  So, now I'm super excited to be almost done with chemo.  Go me!!

And finally, although my head hair seems to be coming in nicely, I have almost completely lost my eyelashes and brows.  While I'm "whatever" about the lashes, I'm a little sad about my eyebrows.  How will people be able to intuit subtle changes in my emotions if I don't have eyebrows? I tried to draw them on this morning, and it was so lulzy, I indulged in a nice round of self-mocking.  So, if you're having trouble telling what emotion I'm trying to convey (hint: it's probably either irritation or snark), I'll understand. 


  1. My arm hurt just reading about you describing the PICC line. You should totally just pencil in your eye brows!

  2. The PICC line was the worst cancer-related thing so far. I would rather go through 2 extra chemo cycles than get another PICC line. It was so traumatic.

    I want to get a fake mustache and use that for my eyebrows. Or be like the guy in Arrested Development who has formal fake eyebrows.

  3. You post made me laugh ... thanks.

  4. Whoopi Goldberg has no eyebrows and she's a badass!

    Yeah, that's all I've got.

    Sorry this sucks so much ass. You rule!!!

  5. I'm actually feeling much, much better today (and I did yesterday as well). I think the chemo just took longer to get out of my system this time because of the infection and everything. I'm back on top of my game, now.

  6. Ugh, I hate PICC lines. I had to have 4 put in because they kept getting infected. I did not have cancer though. I had it in because I developed a condition called hyperemesis gravidarium while I was pregnant. I couldn't eat and had to have it in for about 5 months. It was the worst experience of my life. It also sucks that they only numb your arm and that lidocane does not numb it at all! :\ What sucks is that the first two times that they tried to thread it in the tube when up my neck.

    Im sorry you have to go through that. PICC LINES SUCK!!!

  7. That sounds awful! I was really worried about mine getting infected and/or wet, and I only had it for a week. I can't imagine caring for one for 5 months. Did they not want to give you a port since you were pregnant?

    At least you got lidocaine in the arm, though. I got nothing.

  8. Sorry for taking such a long time to respond. I have been very ill.X__X

    I saw you on FFAF today. I am happy to hear that you are doing well!

    Omg they didn't give you lidocaine at all? Jeez they could have at least offered. That is so rude.

    How is everything going so far? It is what you said, they didn't want to give me a port because I was pregnant. Do you have a nurse come in to clean it or do you have to go to the hospital to get it cleaned? I had at home nursing care.

    The doctor told me to wrap my arm in seran wrap whenever I wanted to take a shower. UNCOMFORTABLE. :\

    How has your line been? Healthy I hope!