A post regretting wasted opportunities

All last October, I fantasized about witty retorts I could give when someone asked me to donate to Breast Cancer Awareness.  Things like, "Trust me, I'm perfectly aware of breast cancer."  Or, "Why, yes!  I am accepting donations!"  Of course, last October I was bald, and I have a feeling my intimate relationship with cancer was obvious.

Now, with my luscious head of practical lesbian hair, I walk around incognito, and an unsuspecting clerk at my local Staples asked if I would like to buy a pink breast cancer pen.  And, I, in my typical D.C. resident way, was so annoyed that she was trying to up-sell me that I reflexively said, "No," before I'd even processed the question, and I watched this golden opportunity for snark dissipate in the wind, gone forever, like my nipples.

And the worst part, the up-selling worked because now I'm going to go back to Staples just in case they give me another chance to be snarky!